A new leaf

Gays don't eat Lays, so I'm not sure anyone will get that reference.

Ahhhh.... Summer in Boystown. Summer is intended for crazy parties, long days at the beach, 4am breakfast at Nookies, SundayFunday at Scarlet, and overall enjoying the single life. No one is really looking to settle down, because in the summer, there are so many shirtless, drunk, fun, random things going on. No one wants to be attached during the pride parade. It ruins the fun!  Summer in Boystown is like Lays Potato Chips: You can't have just one. (Fitting, to be named Lays...). No one wants to have just one guy during the summer. (Shoutout to Grandma!)

NUTS

Cue "Fall". More and more guys download Grindr. More and more guys look to settle down.  It's a trend I call "Noah's Ark": Two by two, boys are off the market until the flood (AKA winter) is over. They hibernate over the winter months, they find someone to cuddle with, they don't go out to the bars as often. More dinner parties, more game nights, more "couple things".  They feed on their stored nuts until the winter thaw is over, and emerge, once spring hits, rested, relaxed, (fat) and ready for another summer. (Just kidding. We are gays. We don't 'get' fat.)

So I'm back. I'm on the grid. I'm putting myself on Grindr in a new hood, with new expectations. I'm back on OKCupid with a more sincere profile (Seriously, it now includes such gems as "I beat all of Candy Crush" and "I'm 27 years old (previously, I wasn't REALLY using my real age.  Oops)). But I'm taking a different approach to this blog. I went on dates before LOOKING for something fun to post. I hoped that after a date, I'd have good material, because, lets be real- that's what the readers wanted. Now, I'm going on dates looking for a reason NOT to post a blog. Before, dating was a joke to me. Now, dating is a real, sincere, hope to find my Mr. Right. I'm 27. It's about time I start acting, and dating, like I'm 27.

It's been months since I've gone on a sincere date. The last sincere date was with a guy I met off an app called Coffee Meets Bagel. It's a cute app, with a cute idea. Every day, at noon, you are sent ONE guy. The app eliminates the need to scroll through endless profiles. The app eliminates hours of wasting. The app really just provides you with one person. And if you like him, and he likes you, the app sets up a mutual phone line for you to text for a week. If you text, and you like each other, you can exchange your real numbers and even meet up for a cocktail. Or coffee. Or a bagel. But gays don't eat bagels.

We texted for a week via the shared phone line. Things got hot and heavy and we decided to text via a real phone number. We were pen pals for a bit too long, and finally decided to meet up, after many weeks. It was a great date. He worked in higher ed, he was sporty and athletic (just like me!), he was very easy to chat with. Minutes after we parted, I get a text from him. "I had fun too. I hope this isn't weird, but I actually met someone between when we started talking and when we met who I'm currently dating. I wanted to meet you and would be down for friend activities- especially flip cup at Scarlet (side note: HE KNOWS ME SO WELL). I'm too old to play games" (side note: did he realize that flip cup was a game?! Was he talking about the game flip cup, or the dating games that we all play with eachother??)

Damn. I met a guy who wasn't BSing me through this dating thing. He wasn't playing games (except flip cup). He was upfront, honest, sincere, transparent. I actually appreciated this text more than you can image. So often we are strung along. We hope he doesn't meet someone better before the next date. Hope he isn't still in love with his ex. Hope he left his baggage behind.  Hope he isn't seeing three guys at the same time. Hope he doesn't have a snarky blog where he posts mean things about all of his dates.

I hope to have that much respect for other dates as I move forward in a more mature approach to dating. 

By turning a new leaf, I'm simply changing my approach to dating. There will ALWAYS be clarinet boys. And when I meet them, you'll be the first to read about it. I'm just going to be more honest, more mature, and more respectful through this process.

Lesson Learned: Once you're 27 years old, once it's fall, and once you have an honest guy sending you an honest text, you start to find a need to take a more honest approach to dating. And you hope to find Mr Right, who is as honest as you. 

Joe Fox (RE: You've got Mail)